"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
