dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
