So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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