You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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