I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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