I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
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