he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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