You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
