My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
