i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize