Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
