what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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