How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
