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Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
soo... how was my night?
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