Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize