I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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