He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
