You work out of a Hotel?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
