I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
