i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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