Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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