If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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