Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
