Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize