we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize