took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I could fuck to npr.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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