you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize