On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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