I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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