i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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