So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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