I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
