this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She even gives head with a lisp.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
