she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i drank out of a bidet.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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