I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
