you traded sex for a burrito?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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