i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize