her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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