dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is