You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
tonight lets celebrate not being married
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.