I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
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I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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