So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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