So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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