so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
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All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
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I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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