Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
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Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
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Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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