Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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