White coat. Heels.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
