I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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