I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
