I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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