(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
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Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Boobs are out for the taking
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
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The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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