Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She's the barista slut.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
