She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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