I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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