ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
