He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
