You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
